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THREE MASSIVE MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS

Written by Aziza founder, Laila Ghattas

 

Over the years couples have been coming to Aziza Healing Adventures for relationship support. A few common themes have emerged.

Although men have their own assumptions to overcome, it's what's on a woman's mind that we explore today.

Below are 3 MASSIVE MISTAKES most women in committed relationships make that keep them feeling discouraged, disconnected and wondering where the LOVE went.

Perhaps you're thinking, "Wait a minute, how can that be? It's all HIS fault! Always!"

3. Sorry to say, that's the third biggest mistake: Thinking it's all his fault, brooding if only he would change X Y Z, wishing if only he'd do A B C, then you'd be happy again.

It takes two. When you hold yourself accountable for your contribution to a situation, when you recognize your insistence that things get done in a certain way (read YOUR way), or if you just relax your tendency to boss and criticize, when you shift from mom roll to adult partner and speak from that grounded place, then you've overcome this hurdle.


2. The number two BIG MISTAKE most women make is INSISTING HE READS YOUR MIND. So your don't have to actually say what you need or want. So you don't have to make the wave. So you don't sound needy, or pushy, or selfish. So that you don't have to stretch out of your passive comfort zone. Ouch!

SPEAK! Say what you need, express how you feel, demonstrate what you want, what you'd prefer was different. He can't read your mind no matter how much you posture, sulk, hint, or worse, remain chilly in silence till he figures it out.

Nope, if you want to free yourself from that rut, release him from the impossible roll of mind reader. Let him hear your words. Let him know. Then watch the magic.

1. The #1 BIGGEST mistake most women in committed relationships make is not realizing that old patterns, unconscious patterns learned in childhood from their parents about relating, these blueprints are being played out in each and every adult relationship.

No matter how much you vowed not to be like your mom or dad, unless you've had a good exploratory review of your past roots, these scenarios are playing out.

Your intolerance of X, your pain over Y, your sensitivity to Z, these are all laid out in your unconscious relationship blueprint. Wait, there's hope!!

When you become conscious of your patterns, then you can stop the madness. You can choose an alternative. You can live in this moment and not be reactive to an old one. It's called FREEDOM. To BE. YOU.

Freedom to live authentically and truthfully in your relationship, and build lasting bridges back to each other.


Laila Ghattas
10/13

Please feel free to send comments here.


Laila Ghattas is an artist, Gestalt therapist and Reiki practitioner. She is an author, public speaker and the founder of Aziza Healing Adventures.

Laila combines creative self-expression with psychotherapy in programs designed to heighten awareness, inspire personal insight and improve the life of those who participate.

Laila holds therapeutic workshops in Toronto, and draws on her worldwide outdoor adventure experience to facilitate international healing retreats for women, couples, mixed groups and corporations.


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 About Aziza's Holistic Retreats and Art & Therapy Workshops Holistic, Wellness and Yoga Retreats for Women, Individuals and Couples Aziza's Art and Therapy Workshops and Classes Art and Therapy Home Classes Shop for Art, Holistic Gifts and Stylish Home Decor ItemsRegister for Aziza's Holistic Retreats, Women's Workshops, Kayak Tours, Yoga Retreats and Art & Therapy Classes